My · scream · will · wrap · around · you · like · a · smile;

School starts next Monday. Er, how great is this. 
But I know this will be a better School year. No drama. It's childish and annoying. I'm just going to be focusing on my School work instead of worrying about everyone. I need to figure out my life..

Current Mood:

sleepy

I'm doing horrible lately.. These text messages from Lina is tearing me up.. I don't know what to do for her. I don't even know what to do for myself. Let alone a lot of more people whose going through a lot. I am a mess and a wreck right now. I just want to hide away from the World for a long while and come out when I am ready. I want away from everything and everyone. I want to curl up in a ball and sit in the corner of my closet. Every haunting thought and nightmare is coming back. Summer is repeating itself.

Current Mood:	crushed
Current Music:	Wet Sand - Red Hot Chili Peppers

I couldn't be happier right now. I'm stress free. Well until tomorrow.. I'm sure something will bring me down. It never fails. Clothes shopping this weekend. I need new clothes for School.. Going to Augusta and Savannah. And my mom is thinking of going to Atlanta, too. Great places there.. : / Er, I know I will end up argueing with her while I pick things out. It always happens. "Try this on, try that one!". It gets frustrating after awhile. Then on the way home we won't say anything to each other. I'll try to be patient this time. Ahaha. YEAH RIGHT. Well I am just blabbing away. I am thinking of going to bed soon.. I might watch a movie first. The Wicker Man? I love that one.

Current Mood:

complacent

That camp really changed who I am. I am right with my religious beliefs now. Even though I may lose friends because of this, I don't care and I will forgive them even though I might never speak to them ever again. But I am happy I was saved. I still go days where it feels as if there's a wall between God and I. But I still pray about it.. I don't care anymore if people judge me because of who I am. I still try to get the word out. I am not ashamed to talk about it. I am happy with who I am now, I see a new out look on life now. I still like to have fun and I am now living life to the fullest. One big problem I have is jealousy. Er, it's a HUGE problem I have. But it's not the kind of jealousy where I want to be this girl or that girl. It's more like if someone has something I want, I get jealous. It's hard. But I am thankful for what I do have. Because I have everything I have ever wanted in life and more. I was watching the move Passion of the Christ last night.. Gah, Jesus endured so much pain for our sins and for out life. And it seems as if 95% of people now a days doesn't see that and they're lost. Well anyways.. NO, I will NEVER force religion on people and NO it's not all I talk about. Really.

Current Location:	Bedroom.
Current Mood:	ecstatic

Camp on Monday morning. Which i'm leaving at 3:30 a.m. in the morning. So I will already be awake. Thank God Brookes is going. Or I would be lost there.. But I am excited about it. My mom and I are going to Savannah on Sunday since that's my last day for awhile. Well not for long. But still. Er, i'll update this shit journal when ever. I have many things to do today.

Current Location:	Bedroom.
Current Mood:	rushed
Current Music:	Gym Class Heroes - Clothes Off

Listen to the tune of the beat of your favorite song that reminds you of me. . . There's some truth behind it somewhere. . .

I really enjoyed my trip to South Carolina. Even though I missed some people. But I must say I had a lot of fun. And the beach was amazing. I really got up to date with my tan, ha. I'm really dark now. But anyways, i'm extreamly tired and exhausted right now. Late nights just aren't for me.

Un jour vous rendrez compte la vérité est le mensonge nu nu sous vos feuilles. . . Vous ferez une suite de jour en haut et rendez compte quels mensonges vous attendez dans le tunnel dans votre propre cauchemar. . .



Alright, i'm not going to sleep quite yet. I'm in the middle of reading The Last Promise, then I am off to shower and to bed.

Current Location:	Room!
Current Mood:	sleepy
Current Music:	Say anything (Else) - Cartel

Life is really good, now.

So i'll be leaving in about four hours to leave for Columbia, South Carolina with my mom for a week. And while we're in SC, we're going to the beach.

And. . . I've finally written a good song that i'm proud of. When I get back from South Carolina I will share on here. I really love it and the lyrics came from the heart.

Current Location:	Bedroom.
Current Mood:	awake

the early morning hours in the summer hearing your voice over the phone make my break worth living for. . .

Current Mood:

silly

My love went un said that night even before the night was over. . . And I know when you said goodnight, that it really meant goodbye. I saw fire in your eyes that last second I looked into them. . .

Well today went alright I must say. I didn't go to School today. I had a major breakdown this morning. But I guess i'm alright now. And as well this day had a plus to it, I got all my un finished homework done. So it's all good.

This Saturday = Savannah! (Staying the night at a hotel, maybe?)

Well I really want some rest right now. So phone, shower, then SLEEP!

Hate is the new rendition of love. . .

Current Location:	bedroom!
Current Mood:	chipper
Current Music:	riot - three days grace

It's amazing how one day, some one walks into your life and you sit and wonder how you've made it through life this far without them all this time. . .

Current Mood:

numb

i miss the time when we would just sit and stare at each other and then turn our faces and giggle.

i am willing to give up all my time just to be with ONLY you.




I had a semi-good day today. Since my cousin Sarah came over for the weekend, we spent the night in Savannah, GA. And we had a good time. But other than that, there is a certain someone on my mind right now. :(

xo goodnight.

Current Location:	bedroom!
Current Mood:	content

i don't thrive on perfection; and i certainly don't live on inspiration. and frankly, i don't let music keep me alive. . . it does nothing for me anymore. it just makes me more emotional then i already am.

i miss the best days of my life when everything was so simple..

Current Location:	bedroommm.
Current Mood:	sleepy

don't think the private calls go unnoticed.  

you've changed me more then you will ever know. even though i let it happen. it's a tie in between good and bad. you said i was naive, and how dramatic i was. funny thing is you basically described yourself. 

i know after what all has happened, you still love me. you've said it yourself. but i can't feel the love anymore. it's non-existent; as if it were never really there to begin with. i feel hate towards you. everyword you typed in a text message or email i get frustrated just reading it.to keep you off my mind i always wrote poetry or painted a picture. but i had trashed those. i've tried to trash every memory of you as i could. i just can't bring myself to it. 

you were the blue in my sky, i was probably the dirt under your feet.

i can't fake it anymore. but i have to learn what forget means in this situation.

i know how to wear my smile; it's only for you.

so goodnight is goodbye. . . bury me in all of our mistakes and memories.

as for now, i'm very content.

xo - brit</3

Current Location:	library.
Current Mood:	creative
Current Music:	the future freaks me out - motion city sountrack

let us not reminisce too much now; i'm the memories stuck inside your mind; your the mistake over my shoulders. . . - Brit </3

there's not a drug that can ever make me forget you; i feel as if you're going to be in my mind til the day i die. </3

Boys, they make me sick. 
I've thought for the past few weeks things were getting better, but they just seem to be getting worse. No one will ever know. I have no one in my life to express to how I feel. I ask for advice and they just laugh. 
I can't keep going on like this. 
You've hurt me more then I could've ever hurt myself. 
I need a good summer, and as well find a way to get out of GA next summer.
I feel like I'm losing everything i've ever owned or had.
I obviously can't live on 2 hours of sleep a night and falling asleep in class hearing your voice.
Tons of homework to be done.
GOODFUCKINGBYE.

Current Location:	sittin on meh bed wit da laptop!
Current Mood:	irate
Current Music:	slow down - the academy is..

 i've come to realize, i'm in love. . . the worst feeling when you can't stand the fact that you don't know if he loves you back. i'm in fear, anxious, nervous. my stomach is turned upside down right now. i guess fear comes along with being in love.

"letters thrown and pitched under hotel room beds. . . i'm addicted to thinking of the past when you and i were gold. . . but the good times burn in the back of my mind. . ." - x3 brit.

Current Location:	sitting on my bed with the laptop.
Current Mood:	confused